May 28

I have debated this day…trying to decide when/if I could update the blog?  I assume many of you have long ago stopped checking.  For some of you, there is Facebook and you KeepupwiththeKolls that way.  However, not everyone is on Facebook, and this post is for you. 

I had a best friend recently tell me she logged onto the blog and reread "Kenan's story."  What a warm compliment.  She made me think-- perhaps I could send an update.  Today seemed appropriate.

Kenan started the blog to keep everyone informed of her next steps as she received medical treatment for Ocular Melanoma.  Today, I have an update on the next steps...

May 28, 2014 was/is the worst day of my life!  Our precious Kenan died one year ago today.  It has taken me 12 months to even say, "our Kenan died" or to even talk about her in the past tense.  To strangers, I still use the present tense.  It is easier.

I had a friend tell me in an email recently that she loved my ability to be a Steel Magnolia when times have been unbearable.  I love that comment and she has no idea that was a favorite movie that Kenan and I watched many, many times together. And I learned today that Kenan watched that movie many, many times with two childhood friends, Katie and Christine.  Katie told me they would watch Steel Magnolias on sleep overs at our house and she remembered baking brownies in the kitchen.  She said Christine got mad when she and Kenan ate the brownie mix before it was baked.   It brought full circle for me Kenan's love for friends, movies, and cooking.

Kenan loved to cook!  One of my most prized possessions is a cookbook she put together for me of family recipes.  Of course, it may be because she got tired of going through my cookbooks, searching for hand-scribbled notes of paper when she needed a recipe.  All Mom's use that same filing system---right?

I asked my three friends who were familiar with Steel Magnolias  if I was Truvy, Clairee, Ousier, or M’Lynn?   Of course, who among us does not have some Ousier traits!  As I was pulling together some quotes from the Steel Magnolias movie to help my friends decide who we were, I found the following quote from M’Lynn…” 

M'Lynn: I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. (how many times I have said that this past year). 

M'Lynn: Oh God! I am so mad I don't know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know *why* Shelby's (Kenan’s) life is over!  Oh *God* I wanna know *why*? *Why*? Lord, I wish I could understand!

M'Lynn: No! No! No! It's not supposed to happen this way! I'm supposed to go first. I've always been ready to go first! I-I don't think I can take this!”

M'Lynn:  I realize as a woman how lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life and I was there when she drifted out.  

My own quotes:  Take it one day at a time.  Remember to breathe.  What would Kenan want me to do?  Take care of Pete, Billy, Jetty, her Dad and her Granny.  Keep moving!  Live by her example…be a great wife!  Be a great friend!  Travel!  Laugh!  Live simple!  Cook!  Pull for the Heels!   And, hold on to her!!!

So, when/if I should/could update the blog!  I don’t want in anyway to minimize this traumatic event of my life!  And at the same time, I don’t live by regrets.  This post is to honor Kenan.

Kenny and I recently had the opportunity to award two more Kenan Colbert Koll Scholarships.  It was the first time I have spoken about Kenan publicly.  I have participated and presented in many senior award nights.   Usually, I am there as a counselor coordinating the night.  This was the first senior awards night Kenny and I were there as presenters.  We felt a lot of pride to be able to honor and remember our Kenan!

Kenan was such a good student!  It was like yesterday, she sat at the kitchen counter doing first grade homework!  Thank goodness for Ms. McGowan.  I have no doubt she established the tone for Kenan, along with a little help from Kenny and me.  Kenan was so driven to be a good student.  And what a great reward when she was accepted to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill!  Her lifelong goal achieved!  

Go Heels!

Today on this day, May 28, 2015---I want you to remember Kenan Colbert Koll!  She was an amazing daughter!  Such an easy child to raise.  She was so strong, brave, and determined as she fought to live!  Of course, it still doesn’t seem real!  We never stopped believing that Kenan would live!  In the Ocular Melanoma world, Kenan is none as an OM Warrior!  And, she was an OM Warrior.  She fought hard, long, and with all her might.  She was amazing and through so many financial contributions in lieu of flower donations, we were able to give four Kenan Colbert Koll Scholarships this year. 

Our first recipient was Rachael Warden, Kenan’s friend and neighbor!  Rachael returned to school this year, The University of North Carolina School of Law!  Go Heels!  Kenan was so happy for Rachael and thrilled that she and Justin were getting married.  Rachael and Justin were married this past weekend.  Billy and Pete were there representing Kenan!

The second recipient was Summer Heath.  Summer is a Hopewell High School graduate, like Kenan.  And, an OM Warrior.   Summer is fighting Ocular Melanoma and we support and pray for Summer every day.  Another amazing strong, brave young woman.  Summer attended and just graduated from the University of North Carolina at Pembroke. 

Our third scholarship recipient is Rachel Cowley.  Rachel will be a 2015 graduate of Hough High School.  Like Kenan, Rachel has a brother going to West Point!   Rachel possesses a lot of Kenan's traits.  She is a gifted writer, independent, a natural organizer, hardworker, and possesses an impeccable work ethic.  You can give Rachel a task and it will get done better than you could do it yourself.

Rachel will be attending Penn State.

Our fourth scholarship recipient is Molly Leiker.  Molly will be a 2015 graduate of Hough High School.  Molly possesses Kenan's traits, as well.  She is a scholar, an athlete, and gives back through community service.  Molly loves to travel and has an adventurous side that allows her to experience new places, try things that are unfamiliar, and adapt easily to new environments. She thrives on competition, whether it is in the classroom or on the athletic field.

Molly will be attending the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and will be a Carolina Tarheel!

Thank you to all who have contributed to Kenan’s Scholarship fund.  As you can see, you have helped four amazing young women in Kenan’s honor!  We look forward to another scholarship year, next year.

Thank you all for loving our Kenan!